The Art of Joy

I worked on and submitted a speech for a contest in New York. My goal was to grow as a public speaker, and this endeavor truly challenged me. I wrote my speech believing it offered a unique perspective on the subject. I focused deeply on the writing itself, perhaps taking the speaking aspect a bit more lightly. When I recorded the video, I wasn’t entirely confident about how it translated on screen, but I trusted that my words would carry it.

My speech was not accepted. There will be no trip and no coaching lessons in my immediate future. But what surprised me most was my reaction.

I didn’t take it personally. Instead, I felt grateful to have participated in something that pushed me beyond my comfort zone.

It dawned on me that I had genuinely taken my own message to heart. I truly do live with a sense of reflection and hope. Rather than dwelling on disappointment, I find myself excited to watch the participants who advanced and to hear their stories. I want to learn from them. I want to grow.

This experience reminded me that joy isn’t found in outcomes, it’s found in participation, in courage, and in the willingness to keep going. I will take this as a lesson, absorb what I can, and try again.

Always moving forward. Always choosing the positive.

JOY

Over the last few years, I’ve met two individuals named Joy.  And to say they were very different from each other would be an understatement. 

The first Joy I met was at a grief retreat.  I was volunteering for a local nonprofit and I am trained as a grief facilitator.  It was a three-day, event for families that had lost a child.  When I first met Joy, she introduced herself and told me she was a death doula. I immediately thought wow, nothing joyous about that and I secretly thought she should have a name like Debbie, for Debbie the death doula. 

But Joy the death doula, had a smile that could light up the room and she had a certain warmth about her.  I was of course dying to know how she had gotten into her field of work.  She said she had a calling to help others.  And she wanted to offer more than just end of life services for the dying.  She wanted to hold space for reflection.  

She said, “We’re all going to die, but what I would like to focus on is not the how.  The how is incidental to the who and to the what.  Who am I, who do I affect, what ripples in the pond of life do I make.”  

Meeting this Joy, definitely brought a new meaning to the name and word.  Joy was inspiring people to think about the positive legacies that they were going to leave behind after they left this world.  She said, “I am helping people resolve their past traumas that they acquired in this life so they can leave without burden.  Preparing for one’s death is about freeing yourself to live more fully.”

The second Joy I met was a fellow Korean adoptee.  I had just returned home from South Korea.  It was the first time I had been there since my adoption.  I went on a birth family search and discovered the truth of my origin and that my birth mother was dead.  I was still processing and dealing with everything that I had learned from the trip, and a friend suggested that I meet with this woman who was also adopted from Korea and talk to her.  

A dinner date was set, and I met Joy, the Korean adoptee for the first time.  Joy was sophisticated, elegant and very smart.  I shared my story with her and we found out that we  had similar experience’s growing up as adoptees.  We were both sensitive and felt different because we were adopted, but had so much empathy towards others.  Joy told me she believed in the laws of attraction and ability to manifest your goals and live your dreams. As she spoke, I could see the sparkle in her eyes and her belief in a better world.  

She wanted to share with others and started a non-profit on her own La Mission de Joie. The mission of Joy.   It was focused on helping underprivileged children and families realize their dreams.  With afterschool centers with not just the curriculum of learning the  abc’s and-123’s but with the mindset to allow children to dream and set high goals for themselves.  She wanted to let these children know they too could manifest a beautiful life.  

In meeting these two Joy’s, my heart and life was touched.  How blessed was I to meet these two incredible women.  One joy, made me reflect on how I wanted to live my life and as I think about being on my death bed.  I want to remember the smiles, the laughter and the joy I put out into the world.  The other Joy, gave me an inner confidence and made me believe in myself.  That as a child, I was a dreamer, and I was able to fulfill my goals.  I had never allowed myself to say it out loud, I was always too self-conscious and cared too much of what others thought.  

I still have big dreams and goals to fulfill and with gratitude and love I stand here and hope I brought some Joy to you today.